Thanks Michael Bublé. Those lyrics (from "Feeling Good") just popped in my head as I selected "new post" and it's quite fitting for today's topic. I've been home for four months or so now and I am loving the freedom of not having to work full-time, although I don't seem to have any extra time. That's a good thing. It means I have lots to keep me occupied during the day.
I'm still on the fence as to whether to move back and re-establish my career as a full time art teacher. As time passes I am increasingly aware that I will soon have to make a decision and stick with it. We've written a list of pros and cons for both options (not kidding) but ultimately it comes down to a decision between the heart and the head.
My heart is home and with all the dreams I have of what it means to be home and what the possibilities are for my future. My heart is also with the students I left behind and those to come because it really is amazing to see them grow and to be a part of their lives, even if it is for a short time. It's nice to think that maybe you may capture a scattered student and make a difference in their lives. I can have that again. I just have to re-organize a few things.
My head is with my job and the logical pieces associated with contributing a decent salary to the household income. You get to make a difference, to teach art, AND get paid fairly well for it. That allows you to have some additional luxuries in life, of course (not that "things" matter), and life is just a little easier all around. Plus, I've worked hard to get where I am and it is not easy to let it go. I also miss my co-workers because they are an awesome group of people.
Over the past number of days I have been weighing the pros and cons. When I make up my mind to go back to the full-time position I keep seeing little messages which make me think I'm not where I need to be quite yet. I know it's a little crazy but it does make me think that the future may look a little different for me... Here are some of the quotes that have presented themselves (as I browsed Pinterest, and if it's on Pinterest, it must be true! :) )
See? SEE??? Sure, it may not mean anything, but, frig., it's hard not to think it does. Although I'm not really one to follow my horoscope but I do from time-to-time, usually at the beginning of the year. My logical side says it's all foolishness, but my hopeful side is intrigued. Perhaps I'm one card short of a full deck! Some people believe in this stuff whole-heartedly. I read my yearly horoscope last January and now again this year. I don't make a practice of it, in other words. I am skeptical but it's hard not to see that there may be some parallels to my reality in the words. I do believe that little signs will present themselves to you if you are open to the possibility. Here is a portion of my horoscope that stood out to me, after I was prepared to call around to buy a piece of land and build a house back in Blaketown....
"Use the first half of 2015 to work and rework your dreams and long-term vision. All of the mental focus and contraction of the past few years is going to pay off in substantial ways... Since you're more of a planner than a risk-taker by nature, this new phase will break you open to embrace all kinds of new adventures."
Perhaps I just want it all... Is that so bad? Is there anyone else in the world like me? My husband begs to differ. He thinks no one can possibly think like I do... I'm so thankful he's a patient man.
Finally, here's another little link that I stumbled across last night. And I'll post the link for the Michael Bublé song from the title...
Ahhh, whatever will be, will be. I must get back to putting some finishing touches on a recent photo shoot.
Things I love (in no particular order):